Confession of a Young Woman

confession of a young woman

I was 25 when I discovered that my life ahead will not be more than my career, marriage and kids. It will be a long and difficult journey. All my life, I had dreamt of nothing but being better than the others. I wanted to build a strong career for myself but the life pulled me back from all that. This was what I thought of and lived for.

When I was diagnosed with the breast cancer I carried out a lot of research and discovered that I could learn a lot from it. However the fact remained that it will be a new life and I could not help but wonder about the things that I would learn from it. I stopped going out with my friends and family. I grieved for myself. I thought constantly about never being a mother, not knowing how it felt like to hold your baby in your arms, no husband to hug and confide in and no family of my own. Whenever I looked out of the window I caught myself staring at other people and wondering what it would be like to leave my misery behind and live, just for one day, their lives. Images of a cascade and flowers flooded into my mind. I felt the world slipping away from my grasp just like the sand runs between your fingers.  
One day, sitting idly as usual, I questioned myself what would I have wanted to do at this moment if all the problems that currently plague my life were not there. It pushed me out of the shell that I had built around me. It restored my faith in life and I began to believe that life is a gift from God. I made a plan that to find and re-discover my inner strength, faith and courage to move on. The thoughts regarding my future made me dizzy yet I knew God was with me and that I was not alone. I had people I loved and knew that they would help me through the bad times.  It was not easy, required a lot of patience and strength. But for me it was the only way to deal with the breast cancer and so I did.



After two surgeries and months of chemotherapy I survived. The chemotherapy was the worst. There were times when I thought I will not be able to live another moment of it. My hair begins to fell and before I knew it I was bald. For a girl it is perhaps the toughest moment however the support of my family and the warmth of my friend helped me live through it. I decided to opt for a brown wig. There were bandages all around my body. However once I was done with all the surgeries and the chemotherapies, I knew there was something bigger and better waiting for me out there. My life was given back to me.

Now I possess a much stronger will to live my life. I learned that I had to climb mountains just in order to survive and with each challenge I grew more and more strong. I am still strong and am living my life to the fullest because I believe you only live once. I can see the bigger picture now. It made me a new person. I am a person who survived breast cancer. The doctors say that I might encounter it again but the near to death experience has taught me the real value of life. Life is a gift from God and I have learned to cherish every moment of it.

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